To Dress For Success Put On God’s Amazing Love by Babs Kincaid

     To be dressed for success, you need to put on God’s amazing love. That may sound strange to some of you. God says it the best way: “But above these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.” Colossians 3:14 From Strong’s Concordance the word bond in the Greek means “a joint tie or uniting principle.” From Strong’s Concordance, the word perfection means “completeness.” From Strong’s Concordance, the word love is “agape love i.e. affection or benevolence. David Nelmes defines agape love in these terms: “- unconditional love that is always giving and impossible to take or be a taker. It devotes total commitment to seek your highest best no matter how anyone may respond. This form of love is totally selfless and does not change whether the love given is returned or not. This is the original and only true form of love.” No wonder Jesus is the best example of this sacrificial love and the role model for us to be triumphant in whatever we do. Agape Love is the uniting principle that brings completeness in any relationship because it always seeks the other person’s highest good.

In God’s lens, one’s achievement or victory is not about a person’s clothes, it’s about their character. Consider God’s instruction: “Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—  but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.” 1 Peter 3:3-4 According to Strong’s concordance this spirit is described as humble and peaceable. Once again God places the emphasis on the internal heart of a person and not their outward attire. “man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

When I was a young believer in Christ I encountered a challenge that put Colossians 3:14 to the test. Not long after I became a follower of Christ, God provided me with a wise and loving Christian mentor. Yea God!!!!! I was struggling with dealing with a difficult and unpleasant boss, so I sought the counsel of my compassionate mentor. After we prayed together my mentor gave me a surprising and peculiar advice. I couldn’t believe what she told me to do. She said “Go buy a box of donuts and attach a sticky note with a smiley face with the words ‘Have a nice day.’ “Are you crazy?” I said? My objections were a mile long! I was getting upset! “You don’t know how unkind he is!” I whined and argued with my wonderful mentor at length, but she was unwilling to change her position. She asked me if I wanted to improve my relationship with my boss or keep it toxic. She asked me if I wanted to follow Christ’s model of love and forgiveness or my model of hate and judgment. Ouch! Our debate ended with my mentor telling me to pray about it! Somehow I had a feeling she had just won our debate!  Now I had to pray and debate with my Mighty God over my dilemma with my boss. It was a much shorter and calmer discussion and I didn’t have a chance to win. Duh!

 The next day I timidly walked into the office trusting God’s love to show up big time! My reality was I was carrying tons of fear and trembling! I was unsure if my boss would blow up or not! I was anticipating at the least, he loved donuts and was hungry! I could predict my boss might get angry so I was a bit on edge and I dreaded the outcome! As instructed, I put a note on the donut box “Have a nice day” with a smiley face and reluctantly wrote my name. Upon his early arrival, he called me into his office. My heart was beating so fast I hoped he couldn’t hear it! Oh no, time for the showdown! I was regretting my decision in my head! Being overly nervous, I spoke first. I said humbly, “If I have done anything to upset you, I am asking you to please forgive me. I just want to clear the air.” To my surprise, my boss immediately spoke up and said, “I am the one who should be asking you to forgive me.” What a shocker! I was totally caught off guard on that one. The rest of the conversation became a blur but I was so relieved it went well! From that moment on our relationship remained in the positive zone! Yea God!!!

It is a good thing I didn’t put on a necklace of pride that day or my victorious breakthrough would never have happened.  A necklace of self-righteousness would have kept me stuck in bondage to deception and sin. In Psalm 73 in a unique description about wicked people this statement echoes that truth: “when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. They have no struggles;…Therefore pride is their necklace.” Psalm 73:3b, 4a, 6a God’s view of pride is chilling: “The Lord detests the proud of heart..” Proverbs 16:5a I would rather be set free from pride than stuck deep in it and offending God!

My relationship with my boss turned a page that day because I put on love when I got dressed for work. Yea God! My Godly mentor wasn’t the least surprised to hear my good news. That was a day of great celebration for me! God had provided me with the perfect mentor and had anointed her instruction to me.  Now I am not advocating that donuts are the answer to every broken relationship! Duh!!! God doesn’t work the same way in every situation, but He is the one who knows how to restore your dysfunctional relationship. Without a doubt, my mentor got her wisdom from the Wonderful Counselor! I am so thankful I listened and took the leap of faith to dress in love! God wasn’t taken by surprise either by my victory! Wow, what a win for God!!!! With God, love always wins! The donuts were just a perk in the line of duty and how sweet it was!!!! Yea God!!!!!

“Meditate on Choosing to Cast the First Stone or Forgive” by Babs Kincaid

I live in a world gone mad that casts numerous stones at others and considers the consequences later or not at all! Many people are out of control with anger and rage but have no peace or serenity. The headlines bear witness to this state of moral decay and outrageous behavior! A chilling war has been declared by those who refuse to consider nonviolent negotiations or dialogue.

Sometimes I feel so justified in defense of my rights! Wait a minute since I am a follower of Christ is it my rights to a cause or God’s rights? According to the Oxford Dictionary, the word right is defined as “that which is morally correct, just or honorable.” Only God is the ultimate judge of that which is morally correct and honorable. God is the ultimate giver and judge of truth and righteousness. Jesus said… “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” John 14:6 Consider the biblical definition of God’s ways: “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9  Since God’s ways are more brilliant than mine, I need to follow his ways. Did Jesus ever throw stones at anyone by holding a grudge, a root of bitterness, or resentment? Did Jesus ever stay angry for months or years and refuse to forgive anyone? No of course not! Then how can I justify doing it? Haven’t I made a commitment to follow him?

In an attempt to teach the religious leaders the principle of mercy Jesus said, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” John 8:7 He was talking about a woman caught in adultery. Back in Jesus time, an adulterous woman would be stoned according to Jewish law. On hearing Jesus speak profoundly on sin, all the religious leaders walked away one by one. Consider what God says about sin: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23 Since, I am not without sin, I have no right to throw stones at anyone.

When I struggle with forgiveness I need to consider how much Jesus forgave me. Every unkind, cruel, rude, angry, lying, manipulative, impatient, hateful, disrespectful, resentful, lustful, passive-aggressive, unloving, self-righteous, immoral, deceitful, slanderous, unforgiving, gossiping thought, word or behavior I have ever done, Jesus has blotted out with his precious blood on the cross. That’s just a partial list of the categories of my sins, as I can’t even remember all of them. Let’s look at this more closely. I get the free gift of forgiveness and Jesus had to be tortured to death for hours on my behalf by the cruelest people on earth! Can you picture it? I can’t freely give forgiveness away to others until I receive the pure forgiveness that Jesus offers me to make me right with God!

A friend of mine was married to a guy who wasn’t available to her on a relationship level. He wasn’t really into helping her around the house so she was overloaded with chores and most nights went to bed at midnight or later. She had several kids so her “to do list” was endless. She tried so hard to reach out to him. She prayed, read books and tried every spiritual and physical means she could to improve herself. She encouraged him to go with her to marriage conferences but he only rejected this opportunity. She signed them both up for marriage counseling but this made him only become more hostile to the counselor's efforts. The marriage counseling only made the relationship divide even larger and the tension explosive. Her husband was addicted to pornography and had an anger management problem. After several years, the counselor presented my friend with a list of lawyers and said: “pick one.” The marriage ended and my friend remained a hurt and resentful woman. She played the victim card over and over again. She felt justified in being angry and offended. The problem was her unforgiveness kept her bound up in continuous pain. She felt justified to hold a grudge and replayed all her pain over and over in her head and voiced his offenses to others. Since she was a Christian she learned that Jesus was the role model of forgiveness and required it as a lifestyle for a follower of Him. She repented for her lack of forgiveness and a huge weigh and burden was lifted from her shoulders! Then she had no desire to speak ill of him to others. Her hatred and anger no longer held her like a prisoner since they no longer held a death grip on her heart! Corrie ten Boom said, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.” What new found serenity she now had! She had found a new life filled with peace, joy, and freedom. The sweet prize was her toxic thoughts had been replaced with uplifting ones.

Peace, joy, and freedom are the incredible payoffs of forgiveness. Since Jesus is the Prince of Peace he is the ultimate source of it. The word says it best “Blessed are the peacemakers; for they shall be called the children of God.” Matthew 5:9 There is no peace in your heart when you are holding unforgiveness within your heart.

When I struggle with forgiveness this verse spoken by Jesus melts the hardness of my heart: “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34 People who have not received Jesus forgiveness are clueless to the need for forgiveness.  You can’t give what you do not possess. If Jesus could forgive his murderers while dying on a cross, how can I refuse to forgive others for hurting me? Sometimes even my other brothers and sisters in Christ have hurt me. I have to look at them through the eyes of Christ since his ways and thoughts are higher than mine. I have to give them the benefit of the doubt and believe they are not intentionally trying to injure me. Since I have not walked in their shoes, I cannot judge them. I have to let other people go, who have hurt me and pray for God to heal what is broken in their hearts. Once I forgive another person the offense is now between them and God. I have to trust God to work my situation out for good. So I choose to give myself the free gift of forgiveness that Christ first gave to me. By choosing a life of forgiveness, I am choosing to give myself the additional gifts of Christ’s joy, peace, and freedom. Robert Muller said: “To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”  So my desire is to live a life that resembles a beautiful form of love. How about you? Does living a life that reflects a stunning form of Jesus love sound like a worthy goal for you? At the end of my days, I long to say, to God be the glory without regrets!