Created to be a God Pleaser and not a People Pleaser By Babs Kincaid

          The one who “knit me together in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13b) created me to be a God pleaser and not a people pleaser. God hovered over my very formation as a loving Heavenly Father. God created me to “make it my goal to please him.” 2 Corinthians 5:9 A God pleaser demonstrates unconditional, fearless, and sacrificial love and a people pleaser exhibits conditional, selfish, and fearful love. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:16-17 God gave us the ultimate love gift!

          I have to continually ask myself are my words and behavior pleasing God or just pleasing other people? “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 The chilling reality is a people pleaser is not pleasing God! “But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts.” 1 Thessalonians 2:4

          My childhood was rather rocky living with an alcoholic dad, so I went overboard in my attempts to please him. With each failed effort, I became more convinced that it was impossible to please him. My dad wanted me to an art major in college so I enrolled as an art major. Since I was crafty and not an artist my endeavor backfired! I couldn’t perform as an artist since I lacked the talent! My grades were a glaring proof of it. I wanted to major in social work but my dad said that was an inferior choice since social workers didn’t make any money. Ultimately, I chose a merchandising degree instead of my dream. I didn’t follow my passion by people pleasing my dad! I threw away my dream for his sake. “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.” Proverbs 29:25 A snare is “a noose, a hook or a trap” according to Strong’s Concordance of the Bible. I took the bait and I have regretted that decision ever since! “The Lord be exalted who delights in the well-being of his servant.” Psalm 35:27b God genuinely cares about my welfare and my selfish and materialistic dad did not! My earthly father was only concerned about how my degree might make him look good! The grim reality is my degree has never been an asset to me in my pursuit of jobs.

Guy Harvey Painting

          Extravagant gifts were the required love gesture for each holiday to people please my dad. As I grew up, I found that such expensive gifts did not match my budget. I asked my pastor one day if I should feel obligated to meet his expectations. My pastor said no, God wanted me to be a good steward of my income and not be in debt. The Bible defines God’s steward with these words: “For an overseer, as God's steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined.” Titus 1:7-8 My dad was furious at my refusal to meet his excessive desires. My faith and respect for Christ kept me from caving into my dad’s self-centered requests. With God’s help, I was able to forgive my dad, but he never was willing to be reconciled to me or to God. My dad chose to respond with revenge by writing me out of his will. I am thankful for my Heavenly Father who did not abandon me: “his name is the LORD-and rejoice before him. A father to the fatherless…God sets the lonely in families,” Psalm 68:4b, 5a God has been my faithful Father ever since!

  

          So each day I am faced with choices to please God or people please others and my goal is to please God! I try to keep my perspective on this golden verse: “And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. 2 Corinthians 5:15 As God’s ambassador my goal is to please him. “Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appealthrough us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.”2 Corinthians 5:20 People pleasing ultimately breeds decaying relationships but God pleasing breeds life! It is written: “for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.” 2 Corinthians 3:6b Yea God! “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10 The infallible word gives the best summary: “Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind.” Ecclesiastes 12:13

 God, the fountain of living water is the one I aim to please!

“Looking Glass Falls in Pisgah National Forest” Photo by Babs Kincaid

Don’t limit God when creating Bodacious dreams by Babs Kincaid

        Adventurous and magnificent are God’s plans and in contrast, my plans are safe and humble. Spend a night star gazing if you need to believe God’s creative plans are excellent! Hmm…Knowing that, which ones do you think I select when building my plans and dreams? No brainer the safe and humble ones! Duh! Presently, I am in the process of changing that unworkable choice. When I look back at my life I want to see a beautiful painting not a paint by number canvas! My plans fall short and God’s plans reach to the skies!

Why do I limit God???? The answer is easy FEAR!!!!! The unknown is big and scary to me! I have no control over the unknown and invisible world! I am powerless over the supernatural world of God! But what does God say about FEAR? “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 1 Timothy 1:7 Check out this incredible verse: but the righteous are as bold as a lion. Proverbs 28:1 What if I am in over my head? That’s why Jesus is called the Lifesaver! “He has saved us and called us to a holy life--not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time,” 2 Timothy 1:9 Did you get the hook “because of his own purpose and grace” he saved us? God has a glorious purpose for us and a provision of grace to carry it out! We have God’s Spirit living inside of us to keep us on the right path: “You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” 1John 4:4

Consider the intriguing and romantic Bible story of Mary and Joseph from Matthew 1. “This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit.” Matthew 1:18 Joseph was betrothed to Mary. He found out that Mary was pregnant before they were to officially live together! The definition of biblical betrothal: “The period of engagement preceding marriage; betrothal was a binding contract established between two families and sealed by the exchange of gifts. During this period the couple did not live together; sexual relations with each other at this stage was regarded as equivalent to adultery.”(www.BibleGateway.com betrothal 5654) Back in Bible times it was a huge stigma and frowned upon situation! Women were stoned to death! Joseph decided to be noble and divorce her privately. “Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.” Matthew 1:19b That seemed like a reasonable alternative to Joseph. Did you catch the word disgrace in that verse! That meant all Hell would break loose on young Mary! This was Mary’s predicament: “If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the young woman’s virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done an outrageous thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father’s house. You must purge the evil from among you.” Deuteronomy 22:20-21 It made perfect sense, Joseph didn’t want Mary publically shamed! However, that was not God’s plan for Joseph to divorce her.

It would take a huge leap of faith for Joseph to trust God with such a huge impediment standing in the way of his sacred marriage. FEAR was knocking at Joseph’s door and he had to shake it off if he was ever going to follow God’s design for his life. To fulfill his dream for love and marriage Joseph had to trust God. Joseph had to fully surrender to God. Joseph chose God’s best plan rather than his own for the greatest life! Joseph married the girl of his dreams!

What does fully surrender to God look like? “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God--this is your true and proper worship.” Romans 12:1 I have to openly and boldly pray that God would take over the leadership of my plans and dreams. I have to let go of my plans and dreams in exchange for His plans and dreams! If I want God’s perfect plans and dreams for my life I have to get out of the way! I have to ask God what his plans and dreams are for me and I have to be quiet and listen. I have to pray: 'Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.” 1 Samuel 3:9 I have to be in an undistracted place and I have to focus on God! I have to not be in a hurry. For God’s best I have to get into agreement with Him! Check out God’s reassuring response “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go: I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” Psalm 32:8 Did you notice God has a loving eye on you? You can limit God or let go and let the God who calls the stars by name shine in your life!

Photo by NC Photographer Alan Ostmann

Forgiveness is God's Dynamic Love Language by Babs Kincaid

     God’s dynamic Love language is Forgiveness. The Father of Heavenly Lights has very commanding words on Forgiveness in the Bible. “For if you forgive men, when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15 Do you hear God’s passion and sensitivity toward forgiveness?  It might send a shock wave through our body if we truly grasp its impact. God’s gift of forgiveness to us was so costly and sacrificial that to refuse to give it to others is unbearable to God! “Freely you have received; freely give.” Matthew 10:8 We are not to be hoarders of God’s indescribable gift of forgiveness! God’s compassionate gift was given to be freely given away. This is God’s standard of love up close and personal. Think of how many times you have sinned and will sin in your lifetime. Check out God’s response for his followers “as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12

          The common objection to this humble extension of God’s love is always the same: “But you don’t know what malicious evil this person has done to me. If you had received such extreme bitterness, resentment, and hate you would feel differently!” Let’s look at a Biblical example in the New Testament of Saul and Jesus to check out the divine perspective. Saul a devout Jew had made it his mission to pursue Christians and have them killed. Saul felt proud and justified in his choice to be judge and executioner of the Christians. Saul was on the scene when Stephen was stoned to death. “Now Stephen, a man full of God’s grace and power, did great wonders and miraculous signs among the people.” Acts 6:8 Stephen’s last words were “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” Acts 7:60b “And Saul was there, giving approval to his death.” Acts 8:1 Saul was so thirsty for Christian blood that he went from town to town in hot pursuit of Christians to take them as prisoners to Jerusalem! Jesus was watching Saul and one day decided to pay him a visit. Saul was traveling and “suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul why do you persecute me?”  Did you notice that Jesus did not say why are you persecuting my follower’s? If you are persecuting Christ’s followers you are persecuting Christ! Matthew 25:40b records it this way “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.”  Jesus introduces himself to Saul and tells him to go to the city and he will be told what he must do. Then Saul was blind and couldn’t speak. He was led to Ananias’s house where his sight was restored. Jesus told Ananias “This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel” Acts 9:15b  Really!!!! Wait a minute, this guy is a Christian persecutor! How did he go from persecutor to chosen? Wasn’t Jesus justified to refuse to forgive him? Didn’t his sins pile up to the sky???? God’s love language is forgiveness! That is how God Almighty forgives and restores people from the wrong path to the right path!

          When you look at God’s in-depth definition of Love you see the foundational ingredient of forgiveness.  1 Corinthians 13:4-6

“Love is patient,

love is kind.

It does not envy,

it does not boast,

it is not self-seeking,

it is not easily angered,

it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.”

Forgiveness involves patience, kindness, humility, sacrifice, mercy, and truth. If love keeps no record of wrongs, then bitterness, resentment, and hate have no soil in which to grow! It isn’t my job to be the judge and jury over someone else’s bad behavior. God is fully equipped to settle accounts: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “it is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” Romans 12:19

Forgiveness is never easy but it is God’s standard of righteous and love language. God makes it crystal clear for us when he writes “Do everything in love.” 1 Corinthians 16:14 The beauty of it all is the written word “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 I am so grateful God’s Love covers my sin! Yea God!!!