Overlooking a wrong =your glory

Keeping score = your loss

By Babs Kincaid

Overlooking a wrong equals your Glory and keeping score equals your loss! What a challenging concept! That’s the beauty and mastermind of God’s perspective rather than mine or yours! Check out the timeless words of Solomon: “The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression.” Proverbs 19:11 According to Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible this Hebrew word for glory (8597) means “beauty, bravery, honor, and majesty.” Notice God gives credit for bravery for this divine behavior! According to Chuck Smith’s commentary on this verse: “It is just much better to say, ‘Oh, let it go.” Why do we have such a hard time letting an offense go? Listen to what the profound word of God says: “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even you may have against one another. Forgive as the LORD has forgiven you.” Colossians 3:13 If I am God’s ambassador, I need to live like it right?

We can all testify how extremely difficult this is to overlook bad behavior! Our flesh gives out a war cry and our Spirit cries mercy! There is a real tug-of-war within us! According to Wikipedia, “every Fourth of July, two California towns separated by an ocean channel, Stinson Beach, California and Bolinas, California gather to compete for an annual tug-of-war. Can you imagine what that must look like? That trivia is for those of you who like a visual! Lol! Needless to say, a tug-of-war can get ugly and someone always wins and someone always loses!

Do you ever wonder why we choose to keep score for games and are toldnot to keep score in relationships?  The reason is simple.  In games, there is a winner and a loser, but in relationships, the goal is harmony and not loss. God has asked us not to judge but to forgive.  God does not set us up to be winners or losers but to be equal servants in Him as winning the greatest prize, LOVE.  God is LOVE. He has commanded us to forgive up to seventy-seven times.  (Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV). In other words, I will need to relinquish the idea of keeping score in my relationships and focus on working on improving my love walk. By overlooking offenses, I line up my heart with God’s!

Once I had an experience working with a woman who had a deep resentment against me.  I was powerless over her refusal to confront me directly so our relationship could be restored.  I was powerless over her inability to forgive. I was powerless over her negative embellishment of the situation.  I was powerless over her unkind words and her drama queen exaggeration of the situation. I was powerless over her lack of forgiveness even though she professed to be a Christian. I was powerless over her desire to be right rather than to be well. I was powerless over her refusal to choose to confront me and seek reconciliation. The good news is that because of Jesus, I did not have to operate in self-righteousness, but I could choose to operate in grace. I confronted her in love, and I was powerless over her denial. Since I have choices, I chose to forgive and to operate in love and let God deal with her scorekeeping vendetta.  I choose to continue praying, overlooking, forgiving and loving her. God gave me the wisdom to connect with her. One day I suggested a horse ministry that might help her autistic child and her heart began to soften. God had opened a door for us to connect on a positive ground and her resentment began to fade. When I left that job, she gave me a very expensive gift and a hug! I guess she threw away her score card! That’s why overlooking a wrong often involves been brave by refusing to give up on Christ’s love!

I grew up with a dad who had mastered the skill of scorekeeping to my great loss. He kept a running tabulation of my offenses on a daily basis! He was an angry alcoholic who choose me as the scapegoat for his bad behavior. One day he asked me to clean my bathroom. When he inspected it he found one of my hairs had accidentally fallen into the sink.  He came unglued with rage and cited all my offenses of the past year! What a nightmare for me! His scorekeeping turned out to be a huge loss for me and our family!

Scorekeeping or judgment is a character defect that leads to defeat in any one’s life.  Judgment is a negative mindset that causes one person to feel superior about themselves at the expense of another person.  Mercy and forgiveness are God’s remedy for those destructive behaviors that miss the mark. It is wise for us to deal with our resentments so they will not own us. The bottom line is our Savior has redeemed our failing scorecard to read forgiven and restored.  It was for freedom that Christ set us free. We can choose to let go, and let God do the scorekeeping! The payoff for us is freedom and glory beloved!

Wow verse: “Whoever covers an offense seeks love” Proverbs 17:9  

Faith Lessons I Learned from trying to be Wonder Woman By Babs Kincaid

Surprise, no matter how hard I try to fool myself I am not "wonder woman"! I know that will come as a big shock to all my friends and family but the truth still hurts!  Lol!!! Recently I attempted to walk in a charity fundraiser with some of my coworkers. I felt like my wonder woman skills were intact so it would be a walk in the park. My goal was to shine the light for the LORD and be a positive witness. I thought what working out skills I lacked I could make up with my faith! Not so much! I had slacked off from my power walks around my condo pond but I had confidence in myself! “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13 Right? So I decided to first hit the loo or restroom (although I never see anyone resting in there) sorry! When I came back everyone had taken off from the starting block. Another shocker! Wonder woman can catch up, right? I noticed when I caught up with the first group of racers, some folks had opted to walk on the sidewalk rather than in the middle of the road, Cool! So I opted to take the shortcut so I could soon join my coworkers, Brilliant right! Not so much! They should post a sign for hopeful wonder women “watch for hazards especially bumps like metal posts holding up signs!” Well, I found that very hazard and went flying in the air with the greatest of ease! My landing was quite ugly! OUCH, times 10! My whole left side was screaming bloody murder!!! On the second lap of the race, my coworkers spotted me! At first, they said “Oh no man down!” and then they said, “Oh, no it’s Babs!” not the claim to fame I was going for! The good news was I was near a hospital! The bad news was I had broken my Humerus bone in my left arm! Not so funny! Humor, get it! My coworkers gave me the VIP treatment paying my expensive parking ticket and getting my meds and driving me home! Yea God! I missed out on the wonder woman t-shirt!!!

Too bad I missed the glaring sign!

The second encouraging lesson I learned was how deeply I am loved by my coworkers, Jupiter Calvary Church family, and other Christian friends! The good news is I felt loved! The bad news is my injury would take 4-6 weeks to heal! Not the dream vacation I was shooting for but I choose to make the most of it! Since “a cheerful heart is good medicine.” Proverbs 17:22 I experienced a lot of love and joy daily visiting my home! My church family brought me love gifts in the form of flowers, groceries, $, meals, gifts like apple cutters, books, button-down shirts and cards and more. They performed acts of service like taking out the trash, getting my mail, taking me to orthopedic appointments, washing my hair, washing my dishes, washing and dusting my floor, watering my plants, cleaning and cutting up fruit and vegetables, preparing meals, doing my laundry, making my bed and opening containers for me and more. My church paid a big bill, bought groceries and flowers. Are you feeling the love yet like I have? Yea God!!! Yea Calvary! Other sisters in Christ have brought the love caravan to my house with food and flowers. Yea sisters in Christ! Best of all I have enjoyed quality time and prayers with all these precious people!

My third blessed lesson from my wonder woman excursion is wisdom on how to minister to women who have been injured. I feel the Lord is helping me become more compassionate toward those who have special physical needs. I had no idea what it was like to be limited to one hand and be told by the doctor to be immobile to accelerate my healing. I am so grateful for all the love, mercy, joy and prayers I have received! The word says it best “Freely you have received, so freely give.” Matthew 10:8 One dear sister even washed my feet and lavished coconut lotion on them! Now that was a pure Heaven drop! Jesus said “you also should wash one another’s feet…Very truly I tell you no servant is greater than his master…now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” John 13:14b, 16a, 17

I may not be wonder woman but I am “his workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works.” Ephesians 2:10 Yea God!!!

Heart check: Is my heart full of mercy or judgment? By Babs Kincaid

       It is easy for me to get complacent in my walk with Christ and believe my heart is a fountain of mercy. There is only one way to prove it! The word says it best: “Search me, Oh God, know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24 Sometimes my lens for truth is rose colored and God’s lens is clear as crystal! Sometimes I think a lint brush will do the job to remove my current sin, but God suggests a snow plow to eliminate it! Be honest now, more often than not we do not see the full scope of our bad behavior! God nails it when he says: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it? I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind,” Jeremiah 17:9-10 Wow, so I prefer doing more frequent heart checks with God, so He doesn’t have to bring out the snow plows!

          Often my problem is a trust issue. I fall back into my old ways of trusting in my flesh. Here is God’s perspective: “Thus says the LORD: Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the LORD, for he shall be like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see when good comes,” Jeremiah 17:5-6A OUCH! Here is the good news: “Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, and whose hope is the LORD, for he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, And will not fear when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will it cease from bearing fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8 That a vivid picture of choices! I choose bearing fruit overbearing dust!

             In Genesis 37-42 we find the perfect example of brothers dealing with pride and jealousy resulting in judgment. Joseph was an outspoken teenager (17 years old) who exposed the bad behavior of his older brothers to his father Jacob. The four brothers in question were born from 2 of Jacobs concubines. Consequently, a family feud began. Because Jacob loved Joseph the most he made him a tunic of vibrant colors. “But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peaceably to him.” Genesis 37:4   It wasn’t bad enough that Jacob had 4 wives, and 12 sons he had to single out Joseph with a bright and flashy coat!  Newsflash: Playing favorites only adds fire to any family conflict!

          To intensify family strife, Joseph told his brothers of 2 dreams he had in which he had supremacy over them and the sun, moon, and stars. The dreams included a visual of bowing down. Joseph’s older brothers were so enraged at his egotism they nicknamed him “the dreamer!”  Joseph’s “father rebuked him. Shall your mother and I and your brothers indeed come to bow down to the earth before you?” Genesis 37; 10

       Joseph’s brothers remained vigilant for the textbook opportunity to attack him.   Jacob being clueless that Joseph was on the hot seat with his older brothers, sent him out on a mission to check on them in another city. This was what Joseph’s brothers were waiting for so soon as they saw him they announced their plot: “Look, this dreamer is coming! Come therefore, let us now kill him and cast him into some pit; and we shall say. ‘Some wild beast has devoured him. We shall see what will become of his dreams!” Genesis 37:19b, 20 Wow, how vile their minds were! The oldest son Reuben objected to their act of murder but supported throwing his brother into a pit with no water. Big difference right? The truth is Reuben had planned to go back and rescue him. So the villain’s removed Joseph’s coat threw him into the pit and sat down to celebrate with a meal! Wow, that’s disgusting and pure evil! Judah later persuaded some of his brothers to make a profit from Joseph, so he was sold to Ishmaelite’s as a slave! Joseph begged his brothers to rescue him and they refused to show any mercy. Reuben was not on the scene when Joseph was sold. How low can some brothers go, right?

So now, their evil deed began to snowball with more wicked behavior!  The brothers had to lie to their father about his fake death. Jacob “refused to be comforted, and he said, “for I shall go down into the grave to my son in mourning. Thus his father wept for him. ” Genesis 37:35b So the majority of Joseph’s older brothers became slaves to their sin. They let a petty offense spiral down from anger to hate to just short of murder and they broke their father’s, heart.

Joseph had battles that became victories for the next 13 years because “The Lord was with him…and made all he did prosper” Genesis 39:3. He was a slave in Egypt, overseer in Potiphar house, prisoner 2 years in Egypt and promoted to second in command to Pharaoh in Egypt. Joseph refused to “sin against God” Genesis 39:5, unlike his older brothers. He refused to have sex with Potiphar’s seducing wife and so falsely accused he went to prison. Even in prison “the LORD was with Joseph and showed him mercy, and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison.” Genesis 39:21 Joseph had authority over all the prisoners. Joseph was asked to interpret a dreams of Pharaoh and he said: “It is not in me; God will give Pharaoh an answer of peace.” Genesis 41:16b Joseph advised  Pharaoh to save 1/5 of the harvests for 7 years so they would have food during 7 years of famine. Pharaoh promoted Joseph to the governor after he revealed his plan to save lives.

There was no welcome party when Joseph first saw his contemptible brothers after over 22 years. Jacob had sent his sons to buy grain in Egypt during the famine. They did not recognize Joseph. He was about to teach them a lesson or two. He called them spies and they deceitfully called themselves honest men! He put them in prison for three days. His brothers were afraid and in great distress. Joseph gave them challenges which made them fearful for their lives. They bowed before him as Joseph’s dream had predicted. Finally, mercy triumphs and Joseph reveals himself to his brothers. Joseph comforts them saying: “But now, do not be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life….And God sent me before you to preserve a prosperity for you in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance.” Genesis 45:5,7 So the story has a happy ending because Joseph let God be God in his life by walking in mercy and faith! Joseph didn't want more drama in his family. He wanted deliverance from drama! 

The word says it best: "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." Matthew 5:7  Since God has lavished so much mercy on me, I want to be more generous about giving it away!

Thank you mom for planting love, joy & faith in my heart, By Babs Kincaid

My mom led by her intriguing and loving example. She grew up on a 10-acre farm so she was creative and fun loving. Her toys were live horses, chickens, ducks, sheep, geese, and dogs. She rode her bike, roller skated, and ice skated and played in hay stakes. Betty, my mom’s nickname often sold vegetables and strawberries with her brother at a fruit stand. They ate all the strawberries and much of their profit. In the summer she would swim in the creek and swing the rope and jump in. In the winter Betty would enjoy snow sledding!  One of her chores was feeding the chickens at the farm. When she was older she took the train to Connecticut to spend the summer at the pool with her cousins. She grew up content with simple things.  The Bible says it best; “Now godliness with contentment is great gain.” 1 Timothy 6:6

The Godly lessons my mom Betty learned from her mom, Helen she passed along to me. My mom was instructed by her mom to live by the golden rule and so she taught me likewise: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Luke 6:31 My mom told me stories of poor people stopping by their farm wanting to work for food. Her parents always fed them and let them do odd jobs. Betty taught me what she witnessed firsthand “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Acts 20:35  Her parents employed an Indian who lived in a room off the smokehouse to take care of the animals.                                                   

Betty had an up close and special encounter with God at a young age. Betty went to the basement and the washing machine was overflowing. There was a long chain switch for the light standing in the water. She slipped and fell or she would have been electrified. God letting her fall saved her life.  That was a huge spiritual awakening in her life. God became very real and personal to her at that moment. “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1 God sparing her life was a huge gift. God miraculously saved Betty’s life when she was only 10 years old! Yea God! As an adult, she wrote in her journal that she knew there was a God because he saved her many times riding a horse and driving a car.

My mom walked in love even when she faced harsh opposition. Whenever my mom went to the hospital she would always get one mean and impolite nurse. My mom would go out of her way to add warmth to her frost bitten opponent.  My mom seemed to look beyond the surface of people's ugly masks. She would extend love and grace with her words of kindness and forgiveness.  She applied these lessons: “knowledge puffs up, but love builds up.” 1 Corinthians 8:3 and “So then, let us pursue what leads to peace and mutual edification.” Romans 14:19 Betty wasn’t perfect but she did a genuine love walk modeled after Christ.

Fellowship with family was my mom’s most treasured possession and she passed that golden nugget down to me. “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:24 In my mom’s journal she listed her family as the dearest people on earth. She wrote that there is nothing more important than love and caring for others.

     

     Faith and prayer were the glue that kept my mom’s world from unraveling. Among her, very important papers was a note which said: “if thou can believe, all things are possible to him that believe.” Mark 9:23  My youngest son wrote a letter to my mom in which he captured the beauty of my mom’s heart: “it was always you who shows me the path to righteousness and redemption. Your love has always been unconditional love… Your legacy is a legacy of inspiration to each family member that we must always do our best and always do the right thing no matter how hard it is. You told me when I was little that the sexiest trait a man could have was integrity. You are an Angel.”  I miss my sweet and lively angel and a prayer warrior!    

“Her children rise up and call her blessed…Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

Happy Mother’s day mom